Reaction to The Mason intros
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These are incredible and brilliant! I love them. I want to gush with praise, but am afraid to be taken as insincere if I do so, in partnership with the fact that I wouldn’t know how to praise them sufficiently at any rate. I was really moved by them. This character speaks to me. And I love the way you explained him through the perspective of others. You’ve outdone yourself Rocky!
And it was perfectly paired with the Ardbeg 10 year that I just so happened to want to try tonight.
I did leave some minor notes that I left in the topics themselves, but honestly I was so taken by the story I could have easily missed any other technical errors.
Where do you want to go from here? Did you want to write a formal chapter as well to begin the story? Or did you want a GM round to throw some sticks into your machine?
Also, I think i should move the Intros into the formal Chapters subcategory.
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These are incredible and brilliant! I love them. I want to gush with praise, but am afraid to be taken as insincere if I do so, in partnership with the fact that I wouldn’t know how to praise them sufficiently at any rate. I was really moved by them. This character speaks to me. And I love the way you explained him through the perspective of others. You’ve outdone yourself Rocky!
And it was perfectly paired with the Ardbeg 10 year that I just so happened to want to try tonight.
I did leave some minor notes that I left in the topics themselves, but honestly I was so taken by the story I could have easily missed any other technical errors.
Where do you want to go from here? Did you want to write a formal chapter as well to begin the story? Or did you want a GM round to throw some sticks into your machine?
Also, I think i should move the Intros into the formal Chapters subcategory.
@Falconius Ardbeg is excellent. I am all for it being the official beverage of Le Maçon. (All whiskey should taste like there’s an entire hickory grill inside it, imho.)
Thanks a bunch for the kind words, I’m really happy it all landed!
We can always retcon in any other details that need working out - I’m more interested in the stories being directionally correct than the details being confirmed atm.
Feel free to move them wherever.
I think I’d opt for a GM round first, esp bc I don’t know much about the region.
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Yes, I know all of those. I shall write a GM section as well as prepare a description package of the area and things happening (at that time period, what year is this set? 9XX?).
Quick overview: The Spider Queendom’s, or the territory they go on to occupy, is an area with chains of immense sharp, mountains that march far out into the ocean. These mountains are garbed in towering forests of giant old growth trees, never cut by man growing in deep dark valleys. There were subsistence tribes occupying the coasts of these lands, no one has any idea what became of them. The borders are guarded from without against expansion and escape of the Queens or their servants.
Think British Columbia on tons of serious PED’s and a fully equipped million dollar home gym.
I have a half finished map which I will upload in resources. Link to the Squeendom Map WIP
Also a link to the World Map WIP -
As sometimes happens with me, I’ve started having some ideas about where the story could go. A lot of times after I make a character, start writing a story, really even oftentimes reading someone else’s story and characters, I get some kind of a vision about what I think a good denouement would be. I’m debating if it’s better for me to share or not, bc I’m sure as the story goes on my view will evolve; it’s still very early days here.
What do you think @falconius ? Better to share or better to start seeing how things develop first?
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It depends on your goal. You like to have far more directed stories and plots. So if that is the case it would make sense to share, but if you are trying to get something more ‘flow state’ and unpredictable sharing your plans would obviously subdue that side.
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I was re reading through the intros in order to write the GM bit, but now I got a bit sleepy, so I don’t know how much I’ll get done tonight.
I got some ideas which I can share here:
I intend to write a bit about the border area and the situation going on there, give a description of veil sight and what he can see so we have a better handle on it, and maybe have him actually cross the border into the first Queendom there. My thought is to have him aiming to skirt around the Black Lakes, and try and head in the direction Songsands Pass which will allow him to travel down through Gobbarg Pass to the rest of the Squeendoms on that spur, or he can head up towards Averi, and go either left and explore the High Mountains, or try and go right and make his way to the smaller mountain islands, fjords and crags. -
@quint I’m having a time crunch with another project that I’m having a meeting about on Sunday afternoon. I was hoping I’d be able to write this on Motzi Shabbat (well actually I was hoping I’d get to it last night but I had to do the other thing), but I probably won’t be able to get to it till Sunday night.
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Status report. Should not be taking this long for how short the part I got done is. I’ve accomplished almost all I want to when I set out, just one more bit. Problem is I want a rewrite chance, I’m thinking I’ll finish getting the ideas out, then post, then rewrite.
I’ve also made progress on the portrait, face looks kinda cool, very based on the Leo self portrait except I tried to make him a bit younger and more kempt and stern. Kind of working out his outfit and undeadifying him. I can share a WIP of it:
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@falconius I was thinking that maybe it’s better to approach this more like collab writing than the previous modes. We could switch off who proposes the chapter, but I figure that this way the idea would be that maybe it ends up going back to the drawing board entirely, and at the least iterate.
Looking at Lemmy and Owen, there has definitely been some adjustment for figuring out how Jacob sees Lemmy and how I see Owen. I think the system there is great, but am wondering if it might be worth trying something else for a primarily 1:1 thing like this, esp with me. (I get pretty picky and particular, and
might not be able tocertainly don’t communicate everything in my head that makes up my particular vision.)My other thought was just that it might help out if you’re feeling a bit stuck, or if what you’ve got so far doesn’t feel right to you.
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Not stuck, just not had much time, and when I do I get extremely lazy. We can try it any way you want, but I’m not sure I understand what you mean.
This is definitely not the pace I intended to leave you with and I apologize for that, but my busyness likely won’t be much more than a month more, and I expect it to ramp down a little anyways.
I can tell you what I’ve done. I’ve made an intro to the border region given it a little bit of description, and of the border guard (just their name and some flavour). I’ve gotten you across the border to the black lake, and what I’ve still to do is sort of explain the lake and get you more firmly into Queendom territory. Unless you want me to leave you in the border region, to maybe interact with the Yellow Guard which could be interesting, but I still need to explain the lake a little. I don’t foresee any issues with finishing it up tomorrow night, bli neder.
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Not stuck, just not had much time, and when I do I get extremely lazy. We can try it any way you want, but I’m not sure I understand what you mean.
This is definitely not the pace I intended to leave you with and I apologize for that, but my busyness likely won’t be much more than a month more, and I expect it to ramp down a little anyways.
I can tell you what I’ve done. I’ve made an intro to the border region given it a little bit of description, and of the border guard (just their name and some flavour). I’ve gotten you across the border to the black lake, and what I’ve still to do is sort of explain the lake and get you more firmly into Queendom territory. Unless you want me to leave you in the border region, to maybe interact with the Yellow Guard which could be interesting, but I still need to explain the lake a little. I don’t foresee any issues with finishing it up tomorrow night, bli neder.
We can try it any way you want, but I’m not sure I understand what you mean.
Truth is, if it isn’t being stuck, I wouldn’t bother with it, but just to explain myself this is something along the lines of what I was thinking:
- I’d start a new chapter by putting a rough draft in something like Google Docs (there are a bunch of more private platforms at this point iirc, doesn’t have to be there). Some parts can be left unfinished - let’s say there’s something (a region/NPC/etc) that I’m unsure about, I could write
// TBD - what would Bob do here?kind of stuff. Same thing if you’re writing and want my input about what Le Maçon or another side character I created would do/think/feel. - You’d look it over, and if the general direction finds favor, leave comments about the specifics. Maybe there’s a continuity gap, or something specific you’d prefer to see a different way. If the whole direction is off, leave a comment there or here to that effect, along with however much you can say about why.
I've got something else planned with thatis a good enough reason in my book. - We iterate on the chapter until we’re happy with it.
- You’d start the next chapter the same way - draft a doc, if the direction looks good, get comments on specifics, iterate until good, then the next chapter flips back to me.
It’s much more of a collaborative writing setup than a game setup that way, which is why I’m saying that if you’re happy with how it is now, I don’t think there’s any need to change it.
- I’d start a new chapter by putting a rough draft in something like Google Docs (there are a bunch of more private platforms at this point iirc, doesn’t have to be there). Some parts can be left unfinished - let’s say there’s something (a region/NPC/etc) that I’m unsure about, I could write
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“Something is clearly messed up with me and I don’t want to screw up the campaign right at the start so I’m just going to post my small fragment, and ignore the Black Lake part.”
That’s what I was going to write. But it galvanized me to at least close up what I wanted. I apologize profusely for being selfish and lazy and possibly derailing the campaign just as it gets started. Don’t know really why I’m ignoring my creative side.
Those plans look like a decent path to follow if need be.
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“Something is clearly messed up with me and I don’t want to screw up the campaign right at the start so I’m just going to post my small fragment, and ignore the Black Lake part.”
That’s what I was going to write. But it galvanized me to at least close up what I wanted. I apologize profusely for being selfish and lazy and possibly derailing the campaign just as it gets started. Don’t know really why I’m ignoring my creative side.
Those plans look like a decent path to follow if need be.
Hey! I’d missed this when you’d posted it, I skimmed it (looked good imho) and hope to give it a better read tomorrow.
Thanks for posting!
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“Something is clearly messed up with me and I don’t want to screw up the campaign right at the start so I’m just going to post my small fragment, and ignore the Black Lake part.”
That’s what I was going to write. But it galvanized me to at least close up what I wanted. I apologize profusely for being selfish and lazy and possibly derailing the campaign just as it gets started. Don’t know really why I’m ignoring my creative side.
Those plans look like a decent path to follow if need be.
@quint As a reader I see a possible hole in the plot:
IF Le Mason is being sent as a scout into the Queendoms
AND Venge can manisfest in and out of the Gauntlet or behind the veil
WHY does Le Mason need to climb through physical terrain and dangerous lakes?Do the Venge not have the ability to step outside the veil and re-enter somewhere within the forest? If they do have this ability then you will need to provide a reason why Le Mason is not using, or cannot use this ability in tracking his way to the SQ’s.
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You need to give the hammer a cool name!
I’m excited to find out how the hammer got possessed with the souls of the Amerel dead and why they didn’t come back as Venge themselves but got trapped into Le Mason’s hammer.…or is the hammer actually Venge itself: ‘Coalescers’. Like that example @falconius gave of the souls coalescing into a physical item:
https://forum.floatiron.cloud/post/191 -
@quint As a reader I see a possible hole in the plot:
IF Le Mason is being sent as a scout into the Queendoms
AND Venge can manisfest in and out of the Gauntlet or behind the veil
WHY does Le Mason need to climb through physical terrain and dangerous lakes?Do the Venge not have the ability to step outside the veil and re-enter somewhere within the forest? If they do have this ability then you will need to provide a reason why Le Mason is not using, or cannot use this ability in tracking his way to the SQ’s.
@Hexlor some do. Some it is dangerous for, because they may go all the way and to their final rest. Id say it is extremely uncommon for those who so solidly and physically manifest as le Mason has. La Macon, so far seems to have no aptitude for it, but his hammer and his sight do bridge that gap.
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@quint As a reader I see a possible hole in the plot:
IF Le Mason is being sent as a scout into the Queendoms
AND Venge can manisfest in and out of the Gauntlet or behind the veil
WHY does Le Mason need to climb through physical terrain and dangerous lakes?Do the Venge not have the ability to step outside the veil and re-enter somewhere within the forest? If they do have this ability then you will need to provide a reason why Le Mason is not using, or cannot use this ability in tracking his way to the SQ’s.
Do the Venge not have the ability to step outside the veil and re-enter somewhere within the forest? If they do have this ability then you will need to provide a reason why Le Mason is not using, or cannot use this ability in tracking his way to the SQ’s.
In addition to @falconius 's answer: Being Venge didn’t come with an instruction manual. I’ve definitely imagined him sticking to human routine as he falls more into this new existence. Maybe there are idiosyncracies he’ll always keep.
It’s entirely possible nobody’s told him he can do it yet, and he hasn’t had the instinct to try. Even if he’s aware of the possibility, my impression of the Gauntlet is that it’s a dangerous place, I’m not sure that he’d necessarily feel it prudent to risk it.
I’m not sure how easy or hard it is to navigate in the Gauntlet, either. Would he get lost? Where might he come out? Another reason to go the simple, long way.
Le Maçon is much more of the slow and steady kind of personality. Plodding forward towards a goal in a way that makes it look inconceivable that he wouldn’t get there, no matter whatever is in between. Walking there just kind of suits him for me.
…or is the hammer actually Venge itself: ‘Coalescers’. Like that example @falconius gave of the souls coalescing into a physical item
While I don’t think we’ve canonically decided what the hammer is, that was my inspiration. Sometimes I just write things and hope that it can work inside the canon. (Like Fassogen’s description in the L&O story.)
what year is this set? 9XX?
I was looking through the thread, and I don’t think I answered this, but might have missed it. My personal idea was that it should be within a year or two of the Spider Queens escaping the Magikar, which I think makes it ~10-15 years after Amerel was razed?
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