Chapter 17
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Lemmy and Owen get taken across the river part 17.pdf
Might as well put critiques to this chapter directly in this topic? Why not?
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This chapter moves things along by a few months but our characters are captives, and merely observers, forced to bear witness to the prison they find themselves in, and at the mercy of their captors. While, they are led from the workhouse beneath Vereign, along the canals and rivers, to the Loveless, and eventually bound into a subterranean chain gang, we see their sense of hopelessness intensify, to a point where they look upon the master slaver’s monstrous form, and can only think that all their nightmares have become a reality. This chapter sets up an act of only more monstrous and undefined things to come, which will take our characters further into despair. However, while all this is happening, there seems a glimmer of hope in the comradship they are building, and the strength that gives to their spirit may just be enough for them to hope for a way out.
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I am quite confused. I can’t figure out how this fits in the continuity, but I’m probably also the only one who cares, so I’ll just shrug and keep on going, I guess?
I think I missed a chapter somewhere, but am also not sure that I’d need it anymore. Am I supposed to be the next writer?
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It moves you sideways. You had last chapter. This one appends to that and moves you to the right point of capture if you want the Fassogen content, which is what I thought was your fellows goal. You are now in Fassogen’s lair, in the Watselands (renamed Wastrials), in the infamous facility, which now appears to be fully operational.
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Owen has new zombie arms! Was Rocky expecting that?
Also, he does not have zombie arms! He had surgical intervention to fix the damage Roddy had done to them by leaving them shackled behind his back so long. Rocky can decide what, if any, permanent effects there were. As far as I’m concerned at the end of my section there are no permanent effects, and he’s back to building up his natural strength in them.
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Owen has new zombie arms! Was Rocky expecting that?
Also, he does not have zombie arms! He had surgical intervention to fix the damage Roddy had done to them by leaving them shackled behind his back so long. Rocky can decide what, if any, permanent effects there were. As far as I’m concerned at the end of my section there are no permanent effects, and he’s back to building up his natural strength in them.
@Falconius Ohhh, it didn’t read that way. You left too much up to the reader’s imagination. I got the distinct impression that Owen had his arms removed and refitted with zombie arms, lol. Oh well. I guess there were no permanent effects.
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I am quite confused. I can’t figure out how this fits in the continuity, but I’m probably also the only one who cares, so I’ll just shrug and keep on going, I guess?
I think I missed a chapter somewhere, but am also not sure that I’d need it anymore. Am I supposed to be the next writer?
@Quint The chapter seemed to skip from the point where our characters were led out of the workhouse cells by Fassogen and Roddy. Fassogen seems to have disappeared, and although Roddy was upset about having had to hand over his prisoners to Fassogen, he seemed to have been meticulous in carrying out whatever orders he had been given to transport our characters to the Waistrals.
@falconius Please clarify, because my understanding was that Fassogen is not present in this chapter, but now I’m thinking about it, was the four-armed creature rowing them to the Waistrals, and who reappears at the end in the subterreanen work pit, actually Fassogen?
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I had definitely not understood that the Wastrials were the Wastelands and that the work is by the Labs facility from Grey Venatic, that does clear some of this up.
If anyone is looking for ideas, towards the end of 15 I suggested that Fassogen was going to rat out Roddy’s side hustle to TFoG, which means that Roddy and/or some of the gang could always show up in collars.
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Yeah sorry. I changed the name on the map and probably didn’t notify you guys enough. Most of my names are fluid and subject to change until I find something that fits better. In the future should any name changes occur I’ll enclose the old name in square brackets [].
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Been a while, reread the last few chapters and started sitting down to write ch 18. Just to make sure that I understood ch 17, is the following an accurate (broad-stroke) summary:
- Roddy kept L&O a bit longer after the initial meeting with Fassogen in 15, exercising them; Owen is ill
- He then locked each of them up in ‘capture racks’, and they were loaded onto a rowboat rowed by a four-armed figure
- They were taken to the Lowvess (also called Loveless) Imperial Penance Dungeon
- Lemmy persuaded the staff to let the resident surgeon see Owen, resulting in a surgery which enabled Owen to start recovering
- L&O are exercised for a week, only seeing guards in the interim
- After that, they were still not inducted into the work force, though were allowed to mingle with other prisoners. This period lasted for a month and a half
- L&O were led up the tunnels to an underground facility south of the prison that reeked of magic and spilled fat. Roughly fifty slaves work here, and the four-armed figure is also present, wearing a Magikar mask. Whenever it shows up, two slaves are taken deeper into the tunnels, never to be seen again.
Is this accurate? Please correct me if there’s anything that isn’t, and also add if there are any considerations/points that you’d like me to be bearing in mind.
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I haven’t re-read it but I though our characters were rowed out to the Waistrals and imprisoned there, not in the Lowvess (Loveless) Imperial Penance Dungeon.
I also don’t recall Lemmy persuading the staff to let the resident surgeon see Owen, but that makes sense, so that Owen can recover. -
I haven’t re-read it but I though our characters were rowed out to the Waistrals and imprisoned there, not in the Lowvess (Loveless) Imperial Penance Dungeon.
I also don’t recall Lemmy persuading the staff to let the resident surgeon see Owen, but that makes sense, so that Owen can recover.@Hexlor Thank you so much for your comments about the ever of the chapter. They may have been more useful if they indicated any knowledge whatsoever of the chapter. Bless.
“… not in the Lowvess (Loveless) Imperial Penance Dungeon”
With dread I realized our destination, and soon that fear was confirmed we headed straight across to the Wastrials and up a canal in the shore. We were going to the Loveless, the infamous Lowvess Imperial Penance Dungeon. I’ve never heard of anyone leaving there, not even the dead…
And, from the end:
Owen and Lemmy were led into the Loveless tunnels.
“I don’t recall Lemmy persuading the staff to let the resident surgeon see Owen…”
But one the guards told me how Lems badgered and harassed those unloading him till they finally got their on-base surgeon to have a look at me. I imagine I was pretty close to dead, since I was blacked out for three days.
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