Chapter 18
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Speaking of handoffs, @hexlor should I be assuming there will be rewrites I should wait for?
(Not that I have a clear idea of what I’m doing, but trying to figure out if I should even be brainstorming.)
@Quint There will be a rewrite, but all I’ll be doing is editing out the Jackals and just putting is some generic criminals, and clarifying that the work they are doing is clearing out the tunnels, rather than mining. Note, I have no attachment to having our characters mining, it was just a misundrstanding of the end of chapter 17. So, no need to wait for my rewrite, but I should have it done this weekend in any case.
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Well, don’t edit out the Jackals. Clearly I’ve been outvoted on that point!
I’m somewhere in the middle. If there’s a reason for them to be there and they’re written well, then I’m all for it. I don’t think the chapter as is really gives them any reason to be there, so I’d say either removing them or doubling down are both options.
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Well, don’t edit out the Jackals. Clearly I’ve been outvoted on that point!
I’m somewhere in the middle. If there’s a reason for them to be there and they’re written well, then I’m all for it. I don’t think the chapter as is really gives them any reason to be there, so I’d say either removing them or doubling down are both options.
So I used the Jackals in two ways; 1) to provide information about the explosions/tunnel collapse, which they had been tasked by Fassogen to clean up 2) to continue their involvement with Owen, by having them follow us into the Loveless.
I think I can remove the Jackals without losing anything:
Regards the first point, since all the prisoners are now cleaning out the tunnels, they are directly involved down there and the reasons/rumours for the tunnel collapse could have come from someone else, it doesn’t have to be the Jackals.
For the second point, I agree that their introduction in chapter 18 is weak. They can follow us into the Loveless, but I’ll remove them here, and leave that for a later installment (whoever wants to write them in). -
Chapter 18 – Lemmy
Time dragged on in here. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed! Each morning we were taken into the tunnels which ran beneath the Loveless prison, and put to work clearing them out from rubble. Shoring up the walls with timber struts to make the passages passable. The other prisoners called them the Necros.The guards called them the Labs. Nobody knew why we were clearing them out or where the tunnels led. My theory, it was pointless backbreaking work. They wanted to make sure we knew we were now their slaves.
Wholly underground, day and night lost their meaning, but we could guess that our work started at dawn and ended at nightfall…The time we spent back in our cells was spent in fitful slumber, coughing out the rock dust coating our lungs.
Owen had returned to fitness and I helped him to practice his breathing and regulate the dread of claustrophobia. “I’m getting used to being in tunnels with you,” Owen commented. “Seems like you feel at home down here, being an honorary dwarf and all?”
If these were escape tunnels rather than dead ends, I’d feel a lot more comfortable.I pocketed a small stone from the tunnels each day and brought it back to our cell, and when I counted them tonight I found I had forty three in total. By my reckoning, we’d been in the Loveless for nearly three months. Today was the thirteenth of Sepersil and I mused with sadness that it would be my birthday in eight days.
I would pick up the more unusual stones, those which were part of the natural geological strata. Most of the other rubble was made from collapsed granite bricks which would have been transported here to build the tunnels. These tunnels had been dug out and reinforced with timber and brick, obviously of human construction. Dwarfs would have dug deeper and found the rock stratum; carved out the tunnel through the rock bed. That would have stood up to whatever had caused these tunnels to collapse.
The orderly who had initially been taking Owen to see the surgeon, would still check in on us, even once Owen was fit again. His name was Gavinger and he enjoyed showing me the artifacts he discovered in the tunnels. It was never clear whether he had been tasked with sweeping the tunnels for treasures or if this was just a curiosity he indulged when off-duty, but he had initially found what seemed to be a precious stone and had been sifting through the debris since then.
I regaled him about my time spent with the dwarfs and speculated that if the stone was cleaned and cut, it would fetch some monetary value. Since then Gavinger continued to show me his latest finds and encouraged me to appraise their worth. Most were mundane items that had likely been washed into the tunnels through floods, such as animal bones and bits of broken pottery, but there were occasionally some more curious bits of stone or metal that he’d recover, and we’d posit their use and value as treasures that may soon make him a rich man.
I was the smallest of the prison crew, but what I lacked in brawn I made up for in my knowledge of excavation and knew where it was best to dig. Nevertheless, after the first few days, my body was feeling the results of the relentless work and I managed to persuade Gavinger that I could be more useful to the digging efforts in other ways. Perhaps out of our kindling friendship, Gavinger made the suggestion, and I was transferred to kitchen duties, or what passed for a kitchen down here. I’d worked in the kitchens during my time in the military so the tasks were familiar although the quality of the food was decidedly worse.
I ferried supplies and rations, along with any of the other odd jobs that weren’t hard labor. It didn’t entirely exempt me, but it made the situation closer to temporarily survivable. It also meant I was exempt from the leather collar and chains that bound the rest of the crew together. It was a minor liberty, but I knew I would be watched more closely.
The kitchens gave me access to pen and cloth (which they allowed for recording recipes and quantities of ingredients), that I used to compose a letter to Arwana, my dwarven princess wife. The letter was coded in my best dwarven runes, but for now there was no means of sending this to her; and although I never saw myself as the sentimental type - isolation cultivates a longing for lost friendship. I would keep the letter rolled up in my bedclothes and wonder each night with what words she would respond on learning that I had been taken prisoner in the Loveless.
Owen remained my stalwart cellmate throughout this time and continued to benefit from my share of food and water, even once he had regained his full fitness. He assumed it as an established right, which I had not the heart to contest. Fortunately, the kitchen assignment allowed me to replenish what I had been lacking.
The masked, four-armed monstrosity who had rowed us to the prison on that first night, would appear at the end of each day’s shift to survey the progress we made. We had learned to address this overseer as Vatador Freesh. Vatador being some form of title, and Freesh being a name, although one which seemed to homophonically mock the putrid hell in which we now lived.
On one particularly difficult day, where the rubble had been packed solid and we hadn’t cleared more than a few feet, Vatador Freesh passed along the line of the chained prisoners - we couldn’t see the scowl behind his mask but we could feel the anger - he made each prisoner hold out their hands. One of the prisoners, calling himself Derris, who was particular to wrap rags around his palms when working, to keep them clean and protected, tried to justify our slow progress. As Vatador walked by Derris, one of his four arms reached out, casual as plucking an apple from a tree, a glint of metal reflecting off the lantern light. The knife was in and out before Derris knew he was dying. His clothed hands clutched his bleeding neck in shock and the rags turned red. Then his legs gave way and he hit the ground, the chain around his collar dragging his neighbouring prisoners to the floor with him. I was made to pick up the legs of his lifeless body and drag it back up to the cells before it was unchained and we were put back in our cells.
A couple of shifts later, I received a visit from Gavinger, which led me back to my erstwhile investigation regarding the disappearance of Professor Nephiron. He had been told by one of the other guards that he was unlikely to find anything of value in the tunnels, since a crew had already been down there and cleared out anything of value. He also heard that the rockfall had been caused by a dwarf through a series of explosions. Good old dwarfs!
Rumours of a dwarf in this area had my nose back on track again. Confined as I was, I had time to think and piece things together. The beetlemen were known to operate Nephiron’s airships: fact. There had been a sighting of an airship near the Waistrils on the night Nephiron was last seen: fact.
Conclusion? At the exclusion of other dwarfs flying around in airships; Nephiron had entered the Waistrils, and was indeed the dwarf who was rumoured to have set about the collapse.Gavinger ventured further into the tunnels each day and came back with reports of deeper levels, a lower canal and dormitories. He soon had a pretty good idea of the underground layout, and I suggested to him that he may have better luck finding artifacts of worth if he directed his searches to where this explosion had taken place.
I chuckled to myself as I imagined Nephiron - true to the noble spirit of the dwarfs - must have been after Fassogen himself and had thrown a literal spark into the infernal plans of that savage beast.
A week later, in the middle of the night, I was woken by a wrapping on our cell door. Owen turned in his sleep, but it didn’t wake him. I stepped to the door and looked through the barred window. Gavinger appeared there grinning, his face grubby with dirt, with only his teeth showing through.
“What’s the matter,” I asked.
“You’ll never believe what I’ve found,” replied Gavinger excitedly.
“Did you find something in the tunnels, where I told you to look?” I enquired.
“I’ve found the most amazing thing!” He said, as he held up a parchment with holes in it. “It was floating atop the levee.”
“It’s parchment! What’s written on it?” I asked.
“No, it’s not parchment,” corrected Gavinger. “Look,” he said, as he held up the skin to his face, and the two holes at the top matched up in line with his eyes, and the small holes in the middle matched up in line with his nostrils, and the long horizontal slit, which was circled with a reddish lip, matched up with his smiling mouth. “It’s a mask! A human face mask! Incredibly preserved. Made of real skin.”
Gavinger’s dirty face disappeared behind the flayed skin mask of a young girl.
I’ve posted the rewritten version of chapter 18. I wasn’t sure whether to keep the original version in the channel, since that was what the messages were in response to, but I decided to edit the original post and replace it with the updated version. It seems that there is a feature, at least for the one who edits their own post, to view previous revisions. Nonetheless, I’ve saved a copy of the original in my Google Drive.
In summary, the changes remove the Jackals from having entered the prison, and I’ve clarified the work which the prisoners are doing is clearing out collapsed tunnels.
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If you want to save the old one in a new post on the same thread that also works. But the first post in the campaign threads should always be the latest copy.
@Falconius I think I’ll post it in the ‘For fun: back when I’d written a beginning to chapter 18’ channel, but rename this as ‘Chapter 18 drafts’ or something.
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@falconius @hexlor I’ve started writing Chapter 19, and want to make sure I’ve got the continuity straight.
iirc, the Loveless and the Labs are two separate places - Lemmy and Owen were first taken to the Loveless, but then were taken ‘up the tunnel’ to the Labs. Is that correct? If it is, is it safe to assume Lemmy and Owen know of their current place of captivity as ‘The Labs’? I remember James saying that most ‘work’ in the Labs isn’t clearing rock, and that clearing rock had only been included as a result of both mine and Jacob’s misunderstanding. I’m assuming that means that they know something about the lab parts of the Labs, though Jacob’s 18 kind of implies otherwise?
Are L&O aware that Fassogen is the one running the Labs? Again, I assume it’s fair to say that he’s made an appearance and/or that there are other inmates who know of him, such that they do, especially since they’ve been there for a while as of ch 18. Does that track?
Edit: Just noticed that I’d missed that Jacob had mentioned something about the place being called the Labs at the beginning of 18 (if I’m reading right - I’m not entirely clear what’s being called the Necros and the Labs there). Does that mean that the place is colloquially referred to as the Labs by the inmates?
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The inmates at Lovalace don’t know anything about the labs (theooretically, maybe they have rumours from the guards, who also wouldn’t really actually know). No one goes back and forth. For the prisoners it is a one way trip, for the guards they make the prisoner exchange in the tunnels and Lab workers (ie the four armed guy) escort the prisoners to the labs. The labs are Necroengineering labs. They are staffed by Majikar and their creations, and the prisoners, who they use both for labour and as experimental material when required or if it is more expedient than waiting for an out side supply. The prisoners are essentially slaves there who all end with a bad way. But the Lovelace does not receive prisoners in such numbers that they can meet such a high demand from the Labs, so many of the prisoner slaves in the Labs can actually last for years (now that they have restarted, this is based on past practices). Mining, is just not what happens at the labs, unless they need to expand their secret facility. Which currently they don’t really need to do as they are still only slowly filling up the already constructed parts that they they may need to clear from debris or collapses as the result of abandonment for who knows how many decades.
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@falconius ok, I may have a deeper misunderstanding - are L&O currently in the prison or the Labs? I had thought they were already in the latter, but now am thinking that I misunderstood, and that they’re still in the former?
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Yes clearly I was far too cryptic when I left off chapter 17, I should have given you guys an outline of what happened, given that I wasn’t writing next and figuring it out would have come from context in the next chapter, but would be impossible without me writing it too.
Problem is I keep wanting to write things like I’m actually running the game
.L&O were transported to the Loveless, there they spent a bit of time removing, and starting to feel relatively safe. Then they got moved again, this time from the Loveless to the Wastrials Necro facility via underground tunnels. This is the same facility Quint and Nephiron raided, and where in tunnels leading to the Naul (West) and out of the facility, some few hundred meters, Nephiron was justifiably killed.
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Yes clearly I was far too cryptic when I left off chapter 17, I should have given you guys an outline of what happened, given that I wasn’t writing next and figuring it out would have come from context in the next chapter, but would be impossible without me writing it too.
Problem is I keep wanting to write things like I’m actually running the game
.L&O were transported to the Loveless, there they spent a bit of time removing, and starting to feel relatively safe. Then they got moved again, this time from the Loveless to the Wastrials Necro facility via underground tunnels. This is the same facility Quint and Nephiron raided, and where in tunnels leading to the Naul (West) and out of the facility, some few hundred meters, Nephiron was justifiably killed.
Then they got moved again, this time from the Loveless to the Wastrials Necro facility via underground tunnels.
Ah, so they are in the Labs. I take it that’s where Four Arms is, as I’m assuming something so obviously unnatural wouldn’t be seen in the Loveless proper?
I did want to make sure, even though I haven’t referenced it yet - I had thought that you’d ok’d there being some efforts at clearing some tunnels inside the Labs, and had assumed that Owen was on the team.
Truth is, it’s worth revisiting ch 18
Each morning we were taken into the tunnels which ran beneath the Loveless prison, and put to work clearing them out from rubble. Shoring up the walls with timber struts to make the passages passable. The other prisoners called them the Necros.The guards called them the Labs. Nobody knew why we were clearing them out or where the tunnels led.
I’m basically asking if the above can be taken as canon.
I was the smallest of the prison crew, but what I lacked in brawn I made up for in my knowledge of excavation and knew where it was best to dig. Nevertheless, after the first few days, my body was feeling the results of the relentless work and I managed to persuade Gavinger that I could be more useful to the digging efforts in other ways. Perhaps out of our kindling friendship, Gavinger made the suggestion, and I was transferred to kitchen duties, or what passed for a kitchen down here.
My impression on reading this is that it basically ignores the lab component of the Labs entirely. I feel like we have a very divergent read on the Labs between @hexlor and @falconius , with Jacob’s being a non-functional lab under construction by a heavily guarded prison gang, and James’s being more like a Magikar-run horror house. I’m worried that I might even be a third opinion, though I’m not sure where I’m diverging.
I think I can write my chapter regardless, but the pedant in me is convinced this is going to make continuity issues.
I’m not sure what the best fix is. I’m willing to take a shot at editing/remixing 18 after I do 19 to bring it closer to what I see @falconius as describing if @hexlor is ok with that, but I know I wouldn’t really want anyone doing that to my chapters, so it’s fine with me if that’s a no-op.
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Then they got moved again, this time from the Loveless to the Wastrials Necro facility via underground tunnels.
Ah, so they are in the Labs. I take it that’s where Four Arms is, as I’m assuming something so obviously unnatural wouldn’t be seen in the Loveless proper?
I did want to make sure, even though I haven’t referenced it yet - I had thought that you’d ok’d there being some efforts at clearing some tunnels inside the Labs, and had assumed that Owen was on the team.
Truth is, it’s worth revisiting ch 18
Each morning we were taken into the tunnels which ran beneath the Loveless prison, and put to work clearing them out from rubble. Shoring up the walls with timber struts to make the passages passable. The other prisoners called them the Necros.The guards called them the Labs. Nobody knew why we were clearing them out or where the tunnels led.
I’m basically asking if the above can be taken as canon.
I was the smallest of the prison crew, but what I lacked in brawn I made up for in my knowledge of excavation and knew where it was best to dig. Nevertheless, after the first few days, my body was feeling the results of the relentless work and I managed to persuade Gavinger that I could be more useful to the digging efforts in other ways. Perhaps out of our kindling friendship, Gavinger made the suggestion, and I was transferred to kitchen duties, or what passed for a kitchen down here.
My impression on reading this is that it basically ignores the lab component of the Labs entirely. I feel like we have a very divergent read on the Labs between @hexlor and @falconius , with Jacob’s being a non-functional lab under construction by a heavily guarded prison gang, and James’s being more like a Magikar-run horror house. I’m worried that I might even be a third opinion, though I’m not sure where I’m diverging.
I think I can write my chapter regardless, but the pedant in me is convinced this is going to make continuity issues.
I’m not sure what the best fix is. I’m willing to take a shot at editing/remixing 18 after I do 19 to bring it closer to what I see @falconius as describing if @hexlor is ok with that, but I know I wouldn’t really want anyone doing that to my chapters, so it’s fine with me if that’s a no-op.
I’m basically asking if the above can be taken as canon.
It cannot be cannon.
My impression on reading this is that it basically ignores the lab component of the Labs entirely. I feel like we have a very divergent read on the Labs between @hexlor and @falconius , with Jacob’s being a non-functional lab under construction by a heavily guarded prison gang, and James’s being more like a Magikar-run horror house. I’m worried that I might even be a third opinion, though I’m not sure where I’m diverging.
Correct. Unfortunately due to my lack of providing you guys with enough information, large portions of Jacob’s chapter cannot be considered cannon. If you read most of that chapter as them actually being entirely in the labs it can still, for the most part, work.
The facility you guys are in is basically the same you found with Quint and Nephiron. At that time it was abandoned, they have now restarted it. At least the hidden parts of it. The entire point was to get you guys to the destination where Nephiron disappeared (because you guys seemed to want to fast track that bit).
Ah, so they are in the Labs. I take it that’s where Four Arms is, as I’m assuming something so obviously unnatural wouldn’t be seen in the Loveless proper?
I did want to make sure, even though I haven’t referenced it yet - I had thought that you’d ok’d there being some efforts at clearing some tunnels inside the Labs, and had assumed that Owen was on the team.
Correct.
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Then they got moved again, this time from the Loveless to the Wastrials Necro facility via underground tunnels.
Ah, so they are in the Labs. I take it that’s where Four Arms is, as I’m assuming something so obviously unnatural wouldn’t be seen in the Loveless proper?
I did want to make sure, even though I haven’t referenced it yet - I had thought that you’d ok’d there being some efforts at clearing some tunnels inside the Labs, and had assumed that Owen was on the team.
Truth is, it’s worth revisiting ch 18
Each morning we were taken into the tunnels which ran beneath the Loveless prison, and put to work clearing them out from rubble. Shoring up the walls with timber struts to make the passages passable. The other prisoners called them the Necros.The guards called them the Labs. Nobody knew why we were clearing them out or where the tunnels led.
I’m basically asking if the above can be taken as canon.
I was the smallest of the prison crew, but what I lacked in brawn I made up for in my knowledge of excavation and knew where it was best to dig. Nevertheless, after the first few days, my body was feeling the results of the relentless work and I managed to persuade Gavinger that I could be more useful to the digging efforts in other ways. Perhaps out of our kindling friendship, Gavinger made the suggestion, and I was transferred to kitchen duties, or what passed for a kitchen down here.
My impression on reading this is that it basically ignores the lab component of the Labs entirely. I feel like we have a very divergent read on the Labs between @hexlor and @falconius , with Jacob’s being a non-functional lab under construction by a heavily guarded prison gang, and James’s being more like a Magikar-run horror house. I’m worried that I might even be a third opinion, though I’m not sure where I’m diverging.
I think I can write my chapter regardless, but the pedant in me is convinced this is going to make continuity issues.
I’m not sure what the best fix is. I’m willing to take a shot at editing/remixing 18 after I do 19 to bring it closer to what I see @falconius as describing if @hexlor is ok with that, but I know I wouldn’t really want anyone doing that to my chapters, so it’s fine with me if that’s a no-op.
I’m not sure what the best fix is. I’m willing to take a shot at editing/remixing 18 after I do 19 to bring it closer to what I see @falconius as describing if @hexlor is ok with that, but I know I wouldn’t really want anyone doing that to my chapters, so it’s fine with me if that’s a no-op.
No. Leave people their chapters to do with what they will. As long as your chapter is more in line with the made up reality it will still work, and if need be, and he ever feels like it, 18 can be retroactively corrected to match what happens further down the lines. Consider 18 a draft and in not binding on any small continuity problems (such as them being miners instead of doing menial lab work). In fact we probably want to keep that general idea in regards to all chapters.
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